Poeta Fit, Non Nascitur

If I'm going to have an author website, I'm damned if I'm not going to put some of my poetry onto it too. I make no apology.

 

Empty Recycle Bin?

You know the irksome thing about computers,

And sending all your messages by wire?

Deleting emails brings far less catharsis

Than burning all his letters on the fire.

How To Get 20 Copyright Takedowns At Once

On a dark desert highway

She loves you, yeah yeah

I did it my way

To Scarboro Fair.
 

Behind the green door

Chances blown, nothing's free

But she wants to be sure

Let it go, let it be


A town without pity

A pub with no beer

It's hot in the city

I wish you were here.


Oo ee oo ah ah

Papa oom mow mow

Na na na na na

Weer all krazee now.


Can't get no, can't get no

American Pie.

There's no point in asking

You'll get no reply.

A Ballade of Facebook

A puppy with ice cream upon its face!

A bunny with a pancake on its head!

A baby dancing round without much grace!

A kitten falling off a sofa bed!

I found this giant spider in my shed!

Here's one weird trick we think you ought to know!

Some singer whom you never heard is dead!

This photograph is you, a year ago.

Make blackheads disappear without a trace!

These refugees from Syria have fled;

Won't someone make their world a better place?

A picture of my lunch, with garlic bread!

Click here, I'll show you how to get ahead!

I've got cheap tickets to a West End show!

They thought she couldn't sing — they were misled!

This photograph is you, a year ago.

The Hubble Telescope found this in space!

You won't believe what Paris Hilton said!

The plight of this old lady's a disgrace!

Disgusting! Thirteen kids, yet she's unwed!

A mash of Kanye West and Motorhead!

Look at me cosplay Marilyn Monroe!

Beware! your food is full of toxic lead!

This photograph is you, a year ago.

 

Envoi:

O Zuckerberg! devouring every shred

Of precious time that we have here below.

I'd call you things, if I weren't too well bred.

This photograph is you, a year ago.

Time Flies

I’ve been bitten by the time flies

And the itch is something chronic

I only wish their love for me

Was nothing but platonic

But here they are, devouring me

The hungry little critters

I’ve been bitten by the time flies

I just hope I taste bitter

I’ve been bitten by the time flies

And antihistamine

Won’t cure me of their itching

It’s the worst I’ve ever seen

I’ve been bitten by the time flies

It’s driving me berserk

I’m scratching myself bloody

And even that won’t work

 

I’ve been bitten by the time flies

And it is plain to see

Fruit flies like a banana

But the time flies just love me

They pounce on me and gnaw me

And they feed themselves so well

That by the time they’ve finished

I am nothing but a shell

 

I’ve been bitten by the time flies

The time flies have sharp teeth

The scientists have told me

There is no hope for relief

There is nowhere they can’t find me

Their bites go on and on

I’ve been bitten by the time flies

And soon I will be gone

Wanderer Of The Timelines

It was on a Tuesday afternoon

You fell out of the sky

You knocked three tiles from off my roof

And landed all awry

You said the truth was unbelievable

But you wouldn’t lie

You’re a wanderer of the timelines

And so am I

 You robbed a bank in 1889

 You know the Age of Reason inside out

 You go back further than Methuselah

 It’s safe to say you’ve been about

It was on a Tuesday afternoon

You landed in my yard

I tried to understand your mind

I found it pretty hard

Your origins you won’t admit

And I’m too scared to pry

But I can tell you don’t belong here

And nor do I

 

 You robbed a bank in 1889

 You know the Age of Reason inside out

You go back further than Methuselah

It’s safe to say you’ve been about

So you holed up in my spare room

You’d nowhere else to go

I quickly fell in love with you

For reasons I don’t know

Perhaps it was your strangeness

Or the wisdom in your eye

I knew you were something special

But so was I

You robbed a bank in 1889

You know the Age of Reason inside out

You go back further than Methuselah

It’s safe to say you’ve been about

 

You made love like a minotaur

You moved just like a cat

I tell myself you’re human

But I’m not quite sure of that

I knew I couldn’t keep you

But somehow I had to try

Because you don’t fit in this world

And nor do I

 

You robbed a bank in 1889

You know the Age of Reason inside out

You go back further than Methuselah

It’s safe to say you’ve been about

 

Today your room was empty

Though you didn’t use the door

You left a silver hourglass

Your scent, and nothing more

I’d follow you if I knew how

And I suppose that’s why

You wouldn’t take me with you

Well, nor would I